Felicitations, Festive Flamingos!

The holiday season is upon us, my shimmering snow geese, and with it comes the annual dance of joy and overstimulation. What a spectacle it is—the glitter, the chaos, the inexplicable abundance of mental fog. But fret not pals, this is no ordinary holiday message. Oh no. This is your penguin pebble of the season.

Shall we?

Gems for navigating the holidays as an Autistic

If the holiday season has you feeling like a burnt chippy, clinging to the last skerrick of energy, let me share some little gems with you. If you feel safe to, it is also completely reasonable to share these with friends and family (reminder: you are not a burden for wanting to feel understood and supported):

• Reframing Autism’s “Top 5 Tips for Celebrating the Holidays” is a delicious morsel of practical, neurodiversity-affirming ideas to help you navigate the season in ways that honour your or your child's needs.

• Neuroclastic's “The Real Reasons Autistic People Are Stressed During the Holiday Season” gives a decent overview of some of the many stressors that Autistic people may navigate at this time of year.

  
  

• Reframing Autism’s “Neuroinclusive Christmas Planner for Kids” is a free and simple template (digital download) to help young people feel prepared and understand their needs around this time.

Scripts for when carving "S.O.S" into the mashed potato isn't "socially appropriate"

Socialising can be a challenge at the best of times and, for many of us, it's much harder during the holidays. You're exhausted, routines are disrupted, and the social demands are higher than Snoop Dogg has been since 1993. If you don't feel safe to say, "Sorry fam, I'm out" this year, and the thought of setting boundaries has you feeling as stressed as a penguin on melting ice, I've got some starting points:

Family comments on how much you are eating

"I appreciate your concern, but I’m happy with what I’m eating. Let’s talk about something else."

You need to eat in a separate room or will eat before you arrive

"I’ll be eating in a quieter space/eating before I come to help me enjoy the day better. Thanks for understanding."

Eating different food to others / bringing own food to eat

"I’ve brought food that works for me so I can fully enjoy the meal without worry. Thanks for letting me do what I need."

Family ask about employment status

"I’d prefer not to talk about that today, let’s focus on enjoying the time together instead." "Thanks for showing interest. I am trusting the process in the way it works for me. I heard you [topic change], I'd love to hear about it. How was it?"

Family ask about relationship status

"I’m not up for talking about relationships right now, but I’d love to hear about [insert neutral topic]."

Family use incorrect pronouns to refer to you

"Just a reminder—I use [correct pronouns]. It would mean a lot if you could remember that."

Family address you by an incorrect name

"My name is [Name]. Please use that—it’s important to me."

Family challenges the validity of your neurotype

"I’m not open to debating this. Let’s focus on having a good time together."

You need a break

"I’m stepping out for a bit to recharge. I’ll be back soon."

You wish to open your gifts later, in private

"I’d prefer to open my gifts later when I can enjoy them properly. Thank you for understanding."

You will be wearing headphones

"I’ll have my headphones on during parts of the day to help me feel more comfortable. I’m still here and enjoying being with you."

You don't wish to share your opinion about another family member (i.e., engage in gossip)

"I don't know enough to comment, but I’m sorry you've been feeling [emotion], that's not a nice feeling"

Happy Kwanzaa, Christmas, Hanukkah, Bada Din, and holidays!

Stay sparkly,